The Razor
Being a guy, I have to shave almost every day. Being a hairy guy, I should shave more than my face but hey, what’s a balding hairy guy to do? Anyways…. Not only do I have to shave my face, I shave my head as well (Ironic isn’t it). Well….my head is a bit sensitive, so I have to go upscale on the razors. Now I use disposables, but they are top of the line. Like ten bucks for an eight pack. Being so dang expensive, I like to use them as long as I can. I would like to have one last about a week. Sounds reasonable but OH NO!
Carri likes to buy these cheap pieces of caca from the Dollar Store. Oh….they have three blades, but I swear, I think they are made by the blind in some sweatshop in a third world country.
Does she use them? Nooooooo. Every freakin time she needs to shave (not often enough), does she get a “Carri” special from under the sink? Nope! She grabs my razor from the counter and uses it! So when I come in to shave……POOF….no razor. I have to dig under the sink….move all the cheap caca boxes out of the way looking for the good stuff!
I swear…right now…there are three (I just got up and counted) “good” razors in the bathtub!!! All rusted up with chunks of hair hangin out of them!!!! She can’t even throw them away!
It’s all good until I run out of good ones. Then I have a dilemma. Do I use one of the new “caca” razors and end up looking like a cast member of the living dead, or do I take a chance of using a “bathtub” razor? Taking the chance of cutting myself and getting lockjaw along with some god awful “chunk o’ hair” bacteria disease!
Well..you probably guessed it. I inspect all the “bathtub” razors and pick out the one that is least likely to kill me!
Why should anyone have to deal with this at 7am in the morning!!!
Well….I know you are all feeling sorry for me right now….but let me tell you. Revenge is sweet! When she’s not looking, and I’m in the shower, I use her loofah to clean my crevices! Ha!
Freakin Razor Stealer!!!
posted by Sixteensisters' Husband at 9:23 PM
57 Comments:
Okay, Les. I'm sorry, but I'm a wife and I don't feel sorry for you. Maybe, just maybe, you could go to the store & buy your own caca razor. You should be proud (& thankful I might add), that someone does your shopping for you!
Do you use her loafa on "schwetti balls"????
Keep a stash in your car. Or anywhere else you can find them easily and she won't think to look.
Did you ever consider discussing the matter, and telling her it's OK for her to get good razors?
"Taking the chance of cutting myself and getting lockjaw"
~~Yep, You got a laugh outta me!! I'm sure there will be quite a rebuttal to this one and frankly, I can't wait!!! Ya'll crack me up... but let's hope this doesn't go to far! lol
~~Play NICE! :o)
Women rule the razors!!!
I can't wait. Come on Carri, get back in the ring, ding, ding!
I'm on the verge of tears les,...........................................excuse me, but it took a few lines for me to get my emotions back under control. It just amazes me how 'insensitive these women can be when it comes to men.
So this is something only your fellow man can relate to, because it is such a traumatic experience....
Hmmm...something else to think about Les..do yoe ever think what she might be doing with your tooth brush??
If I were you after that traumatic experience I'd check it too-- they are 'handy' and dandy to quick scrub that 'slippery' green moldy stuff off the shower floor tiles....(the scent of bleach on it is a tell tale sign)
The bright side is this could also be a 'marketing opportunity, "Wife Pruff" 'Lock boxes for high dollar razors and other personal items..it could be a hit on the same scale as 'Always Tasty Edible Pets' (P.E.T.A. spelled backwards)
OK ladies, don't get upset, I mean like, you know, like a pet clam or crawfish or.. one of those obnoxious yappy little dogs with diamond studded, jingle bell collars (in reality little fur covered piranas with legs) on a po-boy bun, with soy based chili just to cover up the D.O. and at the same time demonstrating my pc sensitivities.
I'm just too sensitive and emotional to go any further...I'll come back when I'm more composed
Verge of tears, too sensitive and emotional - LOL....Carri, loved your "Who's laughing Now" entry! hahaha
One of you tell the story about when Lauren was about 8, you bought her the Barbie phone.
Geee Kelli...don't you feel just a 'little' bit sorry for Les??
thanks Kelli for acknowledging my 'sensitive' and 'emotional' side
(some 'cynical' folks think I don't have one)
Ummmm..Barbie phone??-- that has a sinister 'RING' to it ....maybe it would be a good halloween story right up there with up-chuck Chuckie doll
(sorry Carri, I know it's a bit soon to use the 'up-chuck' word, but at least I didn't use the cock roach word)--there goes my sensitive side again,
sooo,Tum Tee De Dum, you must know something...lets hear it!!
Sensitive & Emotional -
Let's just say that once (or a few times actually), many years ago I recieved a "prank" phone call from a guy I supposedly met in a drunk & stuper at some random bar who was stalking me. Mr. Stalker turned out to be Carri & Les. I think they had WAY more fun with that phone than Lauren did...
T.D---I'm laughing just thinking about it ..what a hoot! ..
I wish I had a wicked imagination like that--I'll just have to settle for the more mundane things-
I'm still laughing at just the thought of it--Maybe I can plagarize the idea and use it on some poor unsuspecting soul..
Sorry dad, don't feel even a little bit sorry for Les. I steal razors too!! hahahaha Women just do that!
And your welcome! I think all men have some kind of sensitive side, it just doesn't come out that much!
So Les, when are you going to write again in your blog!!!! I need a good laugh!
Thanks Kelli..I think I'll take a (humble) bow on that compliment.....Youve got a big heart Kelli and are very perceptive....
And ..yeah Les..you be fallen behind the entertainment curve, you can't leave all the heavy lifiting to Carri!
So get to blogging man--thats what a blog is for..right???
looks like your taking a hard fall on your razor..no mercy from Kelli, (or anyone else for that matter)
you could try leaving some soap scum mixed with stubble on your razor, that might discourage even the most determined female from absconding with it ...oh well, your a guy you can take it
Ewww, soap scum on the razor!!! That would be torturing Carri and she's in enough pain right now with her back out! Les, take care of that poor girl.
Sensitive and emotional - I always thought I had a big heart, thanks! ha
Still waiting on blog entries from the Lebedzinski's, need some entertainment here!!! :)
I think so, and your very welcome Kelli......
Carri!!
and waiting..and....
Hello! Anybody there?!?!?!?
TeeDee,
I think they did have more fun with that phone than Lauren did! Bahahahaha!
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